नशा

At the mere touch of a needle...
A strange feeling engulfed my brain
I floated on air, in a cloudy boat
I trickled down like the rain
I could taste music with my throat
I could see the colors of the rainbow swirl
Within my eyes patterns were formed
And in the distance, a beautiful girl
And little butterflies around her swarmed

I traveled through both time and space
Memories I could touch and feel
A gust of wind did the waltz on my face
The ground was merging with my heel
It was fun, though I felt a little dizzy
But did i just see the lights just dim?
Or in my pleasure was I so busy?
That I ignored a pain so grim???

And suddenly the curtains begin to fall
For every hue takes on a shade of grey
A shadow falls upon us all
The Sun is deprived of its every ray
Death begins to feel like birth
Your brain stops before you ask why
A giant scorpion devours the Earth
The light fades away... and so do I!!!

सुंदर सा एक पल

A solitary long strand falls onto her cheek
Pink - like the bouquet of roses she grasps
In her eyes are pools of the tears of joy
In her eyes I see the future, my future!

Her small red lips curl to reveal the light
That shines brighter than the lone star in the sky
Her dimples tense giving the moon a space to live
Her hair cascades down like the roaring waterfalls

A ring of innocence twirls around her head
Shining gold placed carefully by winged angels
Like a blessing showered upon her as she blesses me
The bat of an eyelid and a sinful history bites the dust

Upon the steps of heaven we stand holding hands
I look beyond the gazes deep into her eyes
And I'm reborn with the last hint of a blush
As she says aloud, in the presence of the world, "I Do!"

आखरी ख्वाइश

wish v fought less

wish v played more

wish you were here

knockin at my door

wish God could see

wish God could know

wish he'd bring us together

in rain or in snow

wish things would change

wish nations would merge

wish you were the sea

wish i were the birds

wish my eyes could feel

wish my skin could hear

wish my ears could sense

every laugh or tear

wish we'd see the same moon

wish we'd see the same sun

wish we'd had more time

wish we'd had more fun

wish the tears were rain

in which we would play

wish you're smile was the sun

That shines in the day

wish the ball would roll

wish the shoes would rub

wish hum kabhi mile

par na jaane kab

wish i felt da same

instead of wondering why

wish my tears would stop flowing

wish i could say... GOODBYE!!!

Dedicated to Taniya... you don't live in New Jersey, you don't live in Bangalore, neither in Bhopal nor in Pune. Wherever you go, whatever you do... you live in my HEART!!! & i love u 4 dat!!!

जोया

There she stood, a girl of eight
With her shy smile and glossy-eyed stare
Holding up a gift to me - a souvenir
Made from her own hands,a paper bear

A baby angel-my sister born
When all the world seemed like hell
Her little smile did save the world
her every tear would a story tell

Through months and years I felt alone
I missed her playing in my arms
I missed her laugh as she played with her dolls
And prayed she'd never come to harm

A decade since i left for good that day
It dawns, as I hold her souvenir
Her eyes wore not a glassy eyed stare
It was the birth of a solitary tear...

पापा

That first toy you bought me
Lies amongst the heap in the back of my head
The feel of you're large palm stroking my hair
Has faded away with the memories
That summer's day when you taught me cricket
Has been washed away by he tides of time
Those long drives, the wind in my hair
Have been blown away to an unknown world

I stand now in front of you - arms wide
Heavy heart, apologies on my tongue
I lay beside you, and fall asleep
And sleep with a comfort I haven't felt for eons
You were always my "Strong and Fearless"
But today you can't fight away your tears
You were always my "Support System"
But today in front of you I'm crumbling

I'd give up my life for one more happy moment
I'd sell my soul to laugh with you
I'd renounce the world to share that one beer
But its too late... too late...
And as I fall today, shed a tear for me
Bear a special place for me in my heart
For from my lungs I'll whisper a scream
And from my mouth escapes, "DAD!!!"

माँ

Don't leave me...
Mother, chide me, scold me, beat me
But please don't leave me here
Where the hounds await to rip my flesh.

I know I've been a bad son
Not all you saw for me
A speck upon your expectation
But you still loved me more and more...

Please take me back, Mother
I promise I'll behave
I know your heart aches for me too
The very heart that pumps into MY veins

I stand at the edge of this diving board
And i need your touch to launch me
The sinister shadows claw my back
I need you here to save me...

A new life, my very first day
You promised you'd be there all along
But now, even though your in my heart
I need you physically - caring and strong

With a smile on ur face everyday
You'd send me to school knowing
That I would return to your arms;
But today is different.

And if I never DO come back
Wait for me anyway, smiling
For I will be reborn as ur son again
Another time, another life!

Quoted from a song:
"Mama, now Im coming home
Im not all you wished of me
A mother's love for her son
Spoken, help me be
I took your love for granted
Not a thing you said to me
I needed your arms to welcome me
But, a cold stone's all I see..."
From Mama Said by Metallica

I miss you MOM!

अंत

What if 1 day God got really MAD
And released such hunger & strife
That he'd wreck every single human soul
Just because of the way U lead UR life?

What if he unleashed a 1000 storms
And devoured all your kin
What if he flooded every inch of land
To wash away your one sin?

We pay for the sins of others...
Nothing Lasts - think about it
There's no such thing called "Forever"
Nature's a rule: don't flout it...

Don't laugh off this possibility
You must beleive its true
Cause God himself created Anger
And Hell he may USE it too!!!

What my blog title means...

Life is a game of Poker
But when I played my cards
There lay my Joker
Rusted, Torn & Shred to Shards...

Rusted = Destruction of Metal
Torn = Destruction of Paper
Shred = Destruction of Cloth
Shards = Destruction of Glass

कायर

(This is a suicide note... not for me... donn wrry)
These pieces of glass lay around me...
The very glass that pierces my eye...
The knife it sits right beside me...
The only witness to how I die...

Im afraid to get out of bed today...
Im afraid to face the gloom...
Im afraid to see the light of day...
Im afraid to leave my room...

I'm removing me from myself
Im removing me from the Earth
Im removing me from that shelf
On which Ive been left since birth

Why do you call me a coward?
I'm NOT afraid to DIE!
With all the tears I've showered
I shouldn't be asked why.

So I lay down in red
In red pools of blood
With a bullet through my head
6 feet under mud...

Don't ask me why....
But I've decided to die