Rusted, Torn & Shred to Shards

Thank You (Part - 2)

2009-07-16T06:43:00.000-07:00

Thank you, my friend, who I've never known
For a mistake you made that I never saw
The effect you never knew it had on me
In a world small as a hand can draw.

You left her at the altar, she cried on a shoulder
Who's owner she wedded and gave birth to a son
He grew very fast, a strapping young lad
And faster than all he would run.

He won that race, but in second place
Was a man, who was running his last
At failure to win, depression settled in
And brought out demons from his past.

Like all legends' falls, he took to the bottle
Drowning in pools of a moving haze
Wallowing in torrents of self-unkempt
Kicked out of home, roaming the streets for days.

From the trash the destitute picked up a frame
A torn picture of a couple in glass it contained
It lay in the shambles of bitterness sorrounding
It shone in the twilight of memories that remained.

He saw it, then glanced up and looked at me
He walked my way and said to me,
"Good day, sir! I believe I have something you dropped
Are you the man in the picture I see?"

I saw the frame, I couldn't believe my eyes,
My eyes they watered in tragic surprise
I had finally found her she'd run away from me
I was given a chance to negate all the lies

I went to the nearest house I saw
And sure enough, she opened the door
This is the only way, I can thank those in my way
Without them, we could've been no more.

Ok. Its not my GREATEST work, but its too long not to upload :p. I kinda wrote this in a hurry @ work. I think maybe I should attempt a Part 3.

Thank You (Part - 1)

2009-07-10T05:21:00.000-07:00

Thank You for the consequence
The backfiring of conscience
Thank you for enormous pain
My blood freezes evanesence.

The bottle can't answer my cries any more
The smoke can't seem to find a cure
The powder can't wipe these falling tears
Needles can no longer open the door

I'm meat but I'm a vegetable
To breathe I've become unable
Thanks to you, my love, my life
Even to mySELF is no longer expendable.

So Thank you for sympathy when its too late
Thank you for turning me into your bait
'Cause now I realise if you hadn't done so
I could never teach myself to hate.

I'll try and upload Part 2 next week. Wait for it...

...And Jill Came Tumbling After (My first Short Story)

2009-06-24T01:11:00.000-07:00

k guys this is my first short story... its a sob-story of love :p... But before you start making opinions about how gay my writing has become just take some time to read it... I think its good.
P.S. This was for Mahafreen Mistry's project which she needed help with. So technically this was her idea so thanks a lot Mistry... hope you like it.

“…And Jill came tumbling after. Not only was it the bloodiest collision the quite town of Slidell, Louisiana, had ever seen, but now its bluest, clearest stream was now contaminated with a tinge of crimson blood of the two 19 year olds whose bodies now lie deep within its womb. Who knew that when Jill met her proverbial Jack, when those first sparks of hate-masked love swelled gradually in the deepest bowels of their hearts, when those very hearts that first communicated when their owners lips touched together in that promise of affection that links two lovers, that God had other plans – plans to nip a fresh scarlet rose in its bud without ever letting its beautiful pout be exhibited to the world that seems to have lost all concept of beauty. They loved, as lovers of pure legend have loved in the past. Jack was like Romeo, Romeo as the Bard would’ve imagined if he lived in the age of Sports cars, School Football captains and part-time jobs and Jill was like Helena of Troy, a face that could launch a thousand ships, the face that could start a million battles, the face that could kill a million soldiers, placed by God in a time and place where none of that, thankfully, could possibly happen. Then why would such tragedy befall two of God’s more artistic creations? The proverbial match made in heaven? Well, as they say, and as has been observed in the kernels and rinds of the great fruit of man called history, in beauty lies tragedy. The great connoisseurs of love stories and epics of tragedy have but one complaint with the genre, that within every story lies a cliché… but that is the beauty of a story so pure and true. Jack and Jill wanted to tie the knot, the eternal dissolution of self in the rosy waters of self-dedication to one another, the two words, three alphabets that would consummate many a happy ending to the barriers to love and begin in its wake a new future with the promise of eternal togetherness. But the barriers would come, and they did in the form of parents who only want the best for their children but in that want refuse to see what actually their offspring thinks is best for himself, in the form of a morbid society whose hypocritical statements against the marriage of two “grossly underage” individuals often forgets its own history of youthful liaisons that did eventually end up in an early wedding, and they did in the form of all those envious individuals who cannot stand the prospect of a perfect match because they themselves have never been showered with the warm flow of a love meant for them and them alone. They jeered, they sneered, they were discouraged and persuaded, their resolve was shaken at the foundations, their love put through the most harmful of acid tests, and yet they came out unscathed, their love not harmed but stronger than ever and their resolve more powerful than ever before, placing their story with the legends. It was a rainy evening, when, hiding from the prying eyes that promised boundless evil if they saw them together, in a shack where no man worthy of his salt would ever find himself in, even in the most desperate of situations, the two lovers conferred and made their plans. They vowed that rather than living apart amongst their society, they would be better off living in another one altogether. They vowed to protect each other from any danger that may come of their adventure to seek their future and they promised to die for each other if it be required. That night, when the beast that was their society lay at rest, the lovers sneaked out and drove off, as quietly and as swiftly as possible, well into the night, their red taillights going dimmer and dimmer as they proceeded towards their destiny – a destiny that they never saw in their most tragic of nightmares. It drizzled, it rained, it poured, the cats and dogs were now jackals and cougars, it was a howling wail, it was torrential hail, it was a Hurricane… a hurricane that was to take many more lives, dreams and stories with it… it was named Hurricane Katrina. Jack fought bravely through the storm and near-zero visibility, yanking the steering wheel hard with no fear for his own life. What he did fear for was the life of the woman of his dreams, his Jill, seated beside him, trying to fight off tears and holding onto dear life onto that thin string called hope and fighting profusely to believe in love despite the odds and trusting that Jack will pull them through. She touched his hand, his knuckles which were white from fear and from the strength of his grip on the wheel. He smiled to her, amidst the jungle of deep negative emotion within him, an assuring smile that told her, “Don’t worry I will NOT allow ANYTHING to happen to you. Not even fate can separate us.” And she believed him, and it felt right. He looked ahead, he couldn’t see a thing, but yet he knew that God will save them. He was halfway through this very thought, when he felt his stomach lurch, then his car lurched and in a split second, adrenaline and panic interspersed and sent an impulse to his brain telling him, “You are falling.” She screamed. The car began plummeting and just as soon as it was almost overboard, it stopped falling with a jerk, throwing them forward, through the windshield with the glass shattering sound of glass shattering and sent them reeling towards the crevice below. On her flight, Jill managed to grab onto one edge of what appeared to be a broken bridge and stop from falling, but Jack could only manage to hang onto the front bumper of the car, which was coming loose at a rapid pace. Terror filled his eyes and then tears. He looked at his beloved for one last time, looking at her helpless bleeding face, and realized all of a sudden that she was the most beautiful thing to ever grace this polluted Earth. He looked at her long and hard and knew that he was going to drown in the swirling river below in moments. He looked at her and said, “Jill! Save yourself. You must live. Just live in my memory and I will consider myself to have been loved. I will watch you from above as always. Goodbye, Jill. I love you.” Saying these words, the bumper came loose and he fell, limbs spread, mouth open screaming and eyes closed bracing for the impact and she watched him being eaten alive by the current as a solitary tear from her eyes followed him down as a memento of eternal love. She looked up at the sky and cursed her God. Then she looked behind her. A barely visible sign read, “DANGER! Broken Bridge!” With finality she looked down. She knew she could save herself and carry on with her life and their legacy, but she also knew that she had made a promise – pure and clean, and never to be broken, a promise of togetherness. A promise that not even death could do us apart. She thought to herself, “You say that I must live, but how do you expect me to live without you, after having witnessing your departure through these very eyes that you loved so much. And then she made a decision; a decision to keep her promise. Jack fell down the river and died… and Jill came tumbling after!

THE END

Perspective

2009-03-12T04:31:00.000-07:00

A thread.
Hanging white and lone - nipped in the bud
From a sleeve, who's colour is soaked in blood
Blood pouring from where the head used to be

The head lies a foot away
Severed off brutally with woodcutter's ware
Fear filled eyes and tufts of pulled off hair
Forensics will come and find a fingerprint

The print, it was she
It was she who seperated brain from spine
It was a murder in cold blood, so divine
The bouquet she had brought - a grim sobriquet

A flower.
He never thought it through when he deflowered her
Now rape has got its just desserts plus more
The scar on her thigh hurts as she runs away

Scarred.
A tarnished mind manifests into a thirst for death
Ready for her "session" with held breath
Beneath the bed lie cobwebs of a lost life

Cobwebs and the dust settle
On a dark past that mutilated the present
The blow - the libido of evil falls silent
And she lay satisfied, in suicide.

That Hit the Spot

2009-03-12T04:19:00.000-07:00

Oh! Man! That Hit the Spot!
The feeling that awakens the stomach butterfly
The feeling you get when you down a vodka shot
We love that feeling - we don't know why

Like a bowlful of Chopsuey after Mafco Hookah
Like the new bike your dad just bought
Like giving Mr. Asshole that well-deserved Mukkha
Like every time... That Hits the Spot

Watching Zaheer uproot all three sticks
Reaching the Snake score no one's ever got
Getting the attention from all the chicks
Just some of the stuff that hits the spot

I drive my parents to the point of "Hari Om"
Doing keedas in class then getting caught
Staying nights with friends and never going home
No matter where we are - that will Hit the Spot

Dedicated to all the people I LOVE chilling with... you guys have made Mumbai SPECIAL!!!

P.S. Thanks to Akhil Rajani for the title

Bloodsport (inspired by the attacks on Sri Lankan cricketers in Pakistan and by Jai's latest blogpost on www.zaiu.wordpress.com)

2009-03-08T04:56:00.000-07:00

Blood spills down the arm
That most men wished they had
And the scream he lets out is
Chillingly similar to shouts after a victory.

The whole world watches
As a gentleman's sport oozes blood
The field becomes a battlefield
With the spirit of sport at the losing end.

The wars of religion have scarred
The one religion left to be affected
A passion hurt, excitement shot in the head
We now live in fear of playing a game.

The warning's out; the time has come
The ball is in our court; our pitch...
Stand up - we have to drive the point home
You made a mistake by messing with OUR sport...

Winter Always Turns To Spring (Thank you Taru Aunty)

2009-03-02T14:49:00.000-08:00

Drops turn to ice as in my palms
In my brain, does memories it bring
And the heartfelt warmth must melt them all
Cause winter turns itself to spring

My life started off as inch-deep snow
The cold that in its depth would sting
The cold that froze me up for life
But winter always turns to spring

Hardships like the strike of frozen ice
A song of pain, I would alone sing
Slowly to melt 'cause of your love
And winter always turned to spring

Then February came, blew in the winds
Setting me free, giving me wings
All the weight that childhood bore
Where winter always turned to spring

If today, I live a life, it's cause
The heat manifested off our meeting
The day I knew you, saw me through
And turned my winter, to a spring.

(To all my friends who turned my winter to spring)

WOW

2009-03-01T08:17:00.000-08:00

Ummm this is the first ever tribute to my work... & TRUST me its better dan da original...
THNK U ANISHA URE THE BEST!!!
http://cranialrumblings.wordpress.com/2009/02/28/wait-thanks-angad/
READ IT GUYS!!!

तृप्ति (satisfaction)

2009-02-25T11:53:00.000-08:00

With swollen eyes she saw me
As I returned from the war
And a single tear, down her face did slide

I'd been away a long while
She'd wait patiently each day
And show to the world that she was satisfied

My first love is my country,
My first love is the war
SO I can't return the love she deserves

But I've always wondered why
She seems so satisfied
Even though all her love for me she reserves

I sometimes suspect she's cheating
She couldn't possibly love me so
But when our lips touch, it erases all doubt

And the day I'm out in town
She'll never show she's mad
I have never seen her frown or pout.

I wish that every man could
Know a love that's so sincere
And he'd keep her till the day he died

Today I look down at her
She still waits for me with a smile
She knows I'm dead but still she's, satisfied.

Stargazers (or Baby Star) - Cutting Chai 07 Song

2009-02-25T05:52:00.000-08:00

This song was composed for a band event in R.D. National College where we had to compose a song using a nursery rhyme as a theme. This was October 2007, and I have lost the original copy of it so i have modified the original including creating the 2nd verse from scratch. Hope you like.

An empty shell lies now
On that spot on my head
Where your palm would lie
Praying I wouldn’t die
You can’t believe that now I’m dead
But the blood’s rushing down my head
And now you’re all alone
A dog without a bone
Together we would touch the sky
But now you look up wondering why
We were Stargazers
We were Stargazers…

Chorus: Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
How I wonder what you are
Up above the world so high
Shine until the morning’s nigh
The skies are filled with silver stars
Layers of clouds couldn’t hide these scars
A bolt of lightning where I lie
Like a diamond in the sky.

We used to dream on, through the night
Our dreams would come true, under the light
The moon would watch us grow
Sleeping in the snow
Singing together, in the rain
It’s raining blood now you feel the pain
A vacuum in your soul
Eating you up whole
Now when you look at the sky above
My star will shine upon you with love
So be a Stargazer
Be a Stargazer…

Wait (thanks Jai)

2009-02-24T06:42:00.000-08:00

Wait...

Wait is all she said months ago
When she left me on the floor
Pulmonarily crippled for life
Happiness to see no more.

Wait is all I do, at my window
Crouching, staring at the moon
Smiling at its dark side
Crawling into my cocoon

Those who look see a wreck
Run over by the tanks of pain
Those who listen hear a scream
And silently pray for the insane

On machines now I survive
My body my eternal prison
Bound and labelled Lunatic
Love has poured its derision.

mrityudand

2008-11-30T20:33:00.000-08:00

Dedicated to all the victims of the 59-hour treachery that was the 26th, 27th & 28th of november in mumbai...

Blam!
The bullets fly from the edge of the gun
& enter the skull
at the part of the brain that nurses dreams,
leaves at the point of realisation
and shatters them - all in less than a second.

Death flows like the blood
That pumps in da armed ones' veins
Who's grown in one direction for 22 years
And died taking with him the safety of an entire nation
And the shame of an entire religion.

They call it revenge
When they take it on people nowhere involved,
Killing only innocent, and sometimes there own brethren
As a city begs for the mercy of God and Satan

Listen to the cries, Oh God of so-called Peace
Listen to the turmoil Oh so-called leaders of men
Let it be known that for every man cut down
There will be an answer, sharper & grimmer

RIP Terrorism!!!

Toote Bandhan

2008-11-30T07:47:00.000-08:00

Two hearts that pump the same blood unite
A romance that both society and science shun
Two bonds intertwine to speak about the unforgiven
Innocent manifested into the sick, the change has begun

He eyes her with eyes they share from their mother
The eyes go down into the corridor of vice
The simple protective thread had to break
Broken is the vow that was taken twice

She screams as he knows not what God forbids
He quenches the curiosity that precedes desire
Satan pulls the string on young minds and bodies
Their little toes just inch across the Line of Fire

Guilt engraved on a shard of broken glass
Fingerprints on it are all that Satan left behind
No one understands the juvenile mind they say
But what really seperates a child or adult mind???

दुर्घटना (story of a car crash)

2008-11-08T10:14:00.000-08:00

Grey, cold metal fuses with skin and
Manufactures blood
One man's life, a part of this small world
Ends with the softest thud
Streams of tears dressed just like the rain
In this monsoon fall
End of light causes claustrophobia
Like closing in of walls
I had a vision, two perfect strangers
Screaming to me for help
But life is the war that i had died fighting
Me against myself
Death is the air that fills the streets now
Suffocating stench
Last blink of light, just like a dying Sun
They saw before they left
Hands soaked in blood, I'm labelled a killer
For turning around that bend
This is how my scarred life would begin
And this is how it'll end

गहेरी सोच (random thoughts)

2008-10-10T11:29:00.000-07:00

When you turned, I was there to lead you straight
Now I'm left picking up the pieces you dropped
In my heart was love, in your heart was hate
Now you stand over me, as my life comes to stop

I took the fire, shouldered all the blame
Absorbed all the shocks that came your way
For your honour, I walked through the flames
And readily faked a smile everyday

Now your fingers point, your teeth sink deeper
Everytime I wake your black fingernails claw
You lead me to the trap of the Reaper
And watch as I burn, as I thaw.

Seeing you here makes my blood run cold
Spelling my death through your yellowing teeth
Why, oh Why, did I serve you, Oh Evil Old!
When my only ray of hope lay buried beneath...

मैं कौन हूँ ?

2008-08-25T11:04:00.000-07:00

Here i lie...
Wallowing in commited crime
Swimming in accusation
Wading through waves of life
Drowning in apprehension.

Surrounded by despair,
Injected with desperation
Trapped into malnourishment,
Sighing in exhasperation.

I see a world...
Aching for change
Burning for the sun
Crippled by your deeds
Murdered by your gun.

Screaming to deaf ears
Crying on cold shoulders
Its torso is wilting
While its poles grow colder

Tonight...
My soul is a void
That i need to fill
My past is a demon
That i need to kill

I'll crawl down that drain
I will climb up that hill
Turning silent whispers
To screams loud and shrill

I lie as water drips upon my brow
Behold the dead world from my shelf
Through my minds bowls passes a thought
"Atlast, I think I have found myself!"

अँधेरा

2008-07-29T10:48:00.000-07:00

Come, my dear, let me take you away
Where the Sun's probing rays can't be
Where vision turns into an eternal black curtain
Where the light of day you cannot see

Come let the darkness encircle you
Let it surround you in its trance
Let it close in upon your entire frame
Around you in cirlces let it dance

Let it fill up your every inner organ
Let it clear your mind of your thoughts
Let it stop you dead in your tracks
Let it touch you in unexplored spots

Let it leave you as a whole new being
Let it leave you wanted, dying for more
Until you realise its done you in again
Its raped you again, you dirty whore!!!

लेखिका

2008-07-28T10:04:00.000-07:00

They damned her when she tried to speak
Jeered her when she lay in the ground
They condemned her into the deepest of shells
Yet she always smiled, never frowned

Like a sponge her heart soaked the tears
Insults like alcohol coursed her veins
No one knew of her black conscience
No one could fathom her pains

But in the end when, she'd return
She'd use her sword destroying pen
Unleash a beast on sheets of paper
Verbal destruction to destroy those men

Those men lay crumpled under paper feet
Ink flowed like poison to kill them all
The sponge was squeezed as black acid poured
In the form of words all over her walls

She wrote of her past, she wrote of her days
She wrote of friends she could call her own
She wrote of love, war, life and death
She wrote of a world where she was all alone

She was the character, she was the plot
She was the dialogue that ran right through
She was the end of your non-fiction novel
She was the chapter that ended it for you.

Dedicated to the writer who is her book!!! Dedicated to the book who is its writer. Dedicated to my friend... who is an open book!!!
Keep writing!!!

पैसा

2008-06-24T09:12:00.000-07:00

Blocking the light that shines upon me
I decided to move toward my shadow
Moving toward eternal glory
The glory shrouded by the darkness below

While you were busy counting your jewels
I laboured and reached the guiding light
I touched the Sun and charred my fingers
As my eye was blinded with rays so bright

Wherever I go, turn silver to gold
Strike oil in the middle of wasteland
Selling my soul to the master called money
My head sucked off its final strand

Going green at the sight of "green"
Surfing through the crests of success
Wiped out when I finally reached the shore
My paper empire begins to regress

Consumed by my own power
Drowning in my own pools of money
There's no such thing as a last laugh
In a rich man's world... it isn't Funny!!!

देशद्रोही

2008-06-15T01:08:00.000-07:00

Wherever I looked, those bodies fell around me
Organs lurched out with one sickening motion
My old friends exploded, I smiled to myself
Extermination, no sign of emotion

Incarnated into the Devil himself
Killed my own borthers, raped my own sisters
They cleaned out my mind with gallons of brainwash
And the winds of hatred lashed like twisters

You're fighting for your country, they told me
You're fighting for justice, freedom and truth
By the age of ten, I'd killed a hundred men
As i destroyed the shadow of my youth

Caught in a continuum of wrong and right
Nerves turned to steel, heart turned to stone
I played with power, my name became FEAR
A chill that could tingle the bones

Until this day, this blood curdling hour
I pushed my friends into their graves
The smell of gun powder lingers in my hands
And nausea engulfs me in waves

An ultimate betrayal, I slayed off my roots
A pawn played on my master's hands
And as I look back my most important victim
Was the mother in the word "motherland"

सहारा

2008-06-15T00:57:00.000-07:00

When you roll the dice and it shows you a '1'

When you find your head at the end of your gun

When Life asks the questions and you don't have a clue

She'll be there for you

She'll be there for you...

Dedicated to the couple that would've been, never was, but definitely will be... SOMEDAY!

नशा

2008-05-30T10:40:00.000-07:00

At the mere touch of a needle...
A strange feeling engulfed my brain
I floated on air, in a cloudy boat
I trickled down like the rain
I could taste music with my throat
I could see the colors of the rainbow swirl
Within my eyes patterns were formed
And in the distance, a beautiful girl
And little butterflies around her swarmed

I traveled through both time and space
Memories I could touch and feel
A gust of wind did the waltz on my face
The ground was merging with my heel
It was fun, though I felt a little dizzy
But did i just see the lights just dim?
Or in my pleasure was I so busy?
That I ignored a pain so grim???

And suddenly the curtains begin to fall
For every hue takes on a shade of grey
A shadow falls upon us all
The Sun is deprived of its every ray
Death begins to feel like birth
Your brain stops before you ask why
A giant scorpion devours the Earth
The light fades away... and so do I!!!

सुंदर सा एक पल

2008-05-19T03:05:00.000-07:00

A solitary long strand falls onto her cheek
Pink - like the bouquet of roses she grasps
In her eyes are pools of the tears of joy
In her eyes I see the future, my future!

Her small red lips curl to reveal the light
That shines brighter than the lone star in the sky
Her dimples tense giving the moon a space to live
Her hair cascades down like the roaring waterfalls

A ring of innocence twirls around her head
Shining gold placed carefully by winged angels
Like a blessing showered upon her as she blesses me
The bat of an eyelid and a sinful history bites the dust

Upon the steps of heaven we stand holding hands
I look beyond the gazes deep into her eyes
And I'm reborn with the last hint of a blush
As she says aloud, in the presence of the world, "I Do!"

आखरी ख्वाइश

2008-05-14T14:17:00.000-07:00

wish v fought less

wish v played more

wish you were here

knockin at my door

wish God could see

wish God could know

wish he'd bring us together

in rain or in snow

wish things would change

wish nations would merge

wish you were the sea

wish i were the birds

wish my eyes could feel

wish my skin could hear

wish my ears could sense

every laugh or tear

wish we'd see the same moon

wish we'd see the same sun

wish we'd had more time

wish we'd had more fun

wish the tears were rain

in which we would play

wish you're smile was the sun

That shines in the day

wish the ball would roll

wish the shoes would rub

wish hum kabhi mile

par na jaane kab

wish i felt da same

instead of wondering why

wish my tears would stop flowing

wish i could say... GOODBYE!!!

Dedicated to Taniya... you don't live in New Jersey, you don't live in Bangalore, neither in Bhopal nor in Pune. Wherever you go, whatever you do... you live in my HEART!!! & i love u 4 dat!!!

जोया

2008-05-14T06:16:00.000-07:00

There she stood, a girl of eight
With her shy smile and glossy-eyed stare
Holding up a gift to me - a souvenir
Made from her own hands,a paper bear

A baby angel-my sister born
When all the world seemed like hell
Her little smile did save the world
her every tear would a story tell

Through months and years I felt alone
I missed her playing in my arms
I missed her laugh as she played with her dolls
And prayed she'd never come to harm

A decade since i left for good that day
It dawns, as I hold her souvenir
Her eyes wore not a glassy eyed stare
It was the birth of a solitary tear...

पापा

2008-05-11T02:52:00.000-07:00

That first toy you bought me
Lies amongst the heap in the back of my head
The feel of you're large palm stroking my hair
Has faded away with the memories
That summer's day when you taught me cricket
Has been washed away by he tides of time
Those long drives, the wind in my hair
Have been blown away to an unknown world

I stand now in front of you - arms wide
Heavy heart, apologies on my tongue
I lay beside you, and fall asleep
And sleep with a comfort I haven't felt for eons
You were always my "Strong and Fearless"
But today you can't fight away your tears
You were always my "Support System"
But today in front of you I'm crumbling

I'd give up my life for one more happy moment
I'd sell my soul to laugh with you
I'd renounce the world to share that one beer
But its too late... too late...
And as I fall today, shed a tear for me
Bear a special place for me in my heart
For from my lungs I'll whisper a scream
And from my mouth escapes, "DAD!!!"

माँ

2008-05-11T02:28:00.000-07:00

Don't leave me...
Mother, chide me, scold me, beat me
But please don't leave me here
Where the hounds await to rip my flesh.

I know I've been a bad son
Not all you saw for me
A speck upon your expectation
But you still loved me more and more...

Please take me back, Mother
I promise I'll behave
I know your heart aches for me too
The very heart that pumps into MY veins

I stand at the edge of this diving board
And i need your touch to launch me
The sinister shadows claw my back
I need you here to save me...

A new life, my very first day
You promised you'd be there all along
But now, even though your in my heart
I need you physically - caring and strong

With a smile on ur face everyday
You'd send me to school knowing
That I would return to your arms;
But today is different.

And if I never DO come back
Wait for me anyway, smiling
For I will be reborn as ur son again
Another time, another life!

Quoted from a song:
"Mama, now Im coming home
Im not all you wished of me
A mother's love for her son
Spoken, help me be
I took your love for granted
Not a thing you said to me
I needed your arms to welcome me
But, a cold stone's all I see..."
From Mama Said by Metallica

I miss you MOM!

अंत

2008-05-10T14:59:00.000-07:00

What if 1 day God got really MAD
And released such hunger & strife
That he'd wreck every single human soul
Just because of the way U lead UR life?

What if he unleashed a 1000 storms
And devoured all your kin
What if he flooded every inch of land
To wash away your one sin?

We pay for the sins of others...
Nothing Lasts - think about it
There's no such thing called "Forever"
Nature's a rule: don't flout it...

Don't laugh off this possibility
You must beleive its true
Cause God himself created Anger
And Hell he may USE it too!!!

What my blog title means...

2008-05-10T14:46:00.001-07:00

Life is a game of Poker
But when I played my cards
There lay my Joker
Rusted, Torn & Shred to Shards...

Rusted = Destruction of Metal
Torn = Destruction of Paper
Shred = Destruction of Cloth
Shards = Destruction of Glass

कायर

2008-05-10T14:25:00.000-07:00

(This is a suicide note... not for me... donn wrry)
These pieces of glass lay around me...
The very glass that pierces my eye...
The knife it sits right beside me...
The only witness to how I die...

Im afraid to get out of bed today...
Im afraid to face the gloom...
Im afraid to see the light of day...
Im afraid to leave my room...

I'm removing me from myself
Im removing me from the Earth
Im removing me from that shelf
On which Ive been left since birth

Why do you call me a coward?
I'm NOT afraid to DIE!
With all the tears I've showered
I shouldn't be asked why.

So I lay down in red
In red pools of blood
With a bullet through my head
6 feet under mud...

Don't ask me why....
But I've decided to die